Hunger, Not Anger
by Umi-chii
Summary: Part 5: It’s been ten years since they last saw each other, and it’s been ten years since they pretend there’s nothing between them—except for a local pie. A story about the Ars Arcanum, its guitarist and the local monk.
1. Raspberry Muffin

Title: Raspberry Muffin  
Pairing: Lucia/Haru  
Warning: AU. School-verse.  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Mashima-sensei still does.  
A/N: I'm procrastinating on tentacle-pron, so please bear with me as I write this ficcu.

First in the Hunger, Not Anger series.

A/N: You'll notice that once you got past chapter 2, things will get lighter and thus a change of summary. I also want everyone to know that this was originally written as a drabble, a one-shot. Only through the demands of schyra to write more that turned this thing into a series. I didn't want to flood the Rave section of , so I only posted these as one multichaptered story. Remember though that this is regarded as a series of one-shots that follows each other.

* * *

**Raspberry Muffin**

"And I told him..."

Haru sighed and let his chin fall onto the table. Beside him, Musica was rambling off again about chemistry and how stupid their teacher was. Stupid raspberry muffin, making him feel all emo.

"Then he asked me if iPod got mercury inside! Oi! Haru! Are you even listening?!"

Haru huffed at the carton of milk in front of him. No, never eat raspberry muffin when you have a friend ranting about chemistry teachers.

"Musica, please shut up."

Musica blinked at the younger boy beside him. Something's off, and it definitely had nothing to do with the half-eaten raspberry muffin.

"Oi..."

"Nnhh...?"

"Alright. I got the message," A sigh. Haru straightened himself up, while staring at the sighing Musica. "What did Mr. Rich Blond do now?"

Trust it on Musica in figuring things out so easily. But Haru just remained passive, while staring at his best friend's downcast eyes. He noticed the twitch of fingers, as if eager to punch a face. Shaking his head slightly, he regarded the half-eaten muffin with great interest, instead of the fist inlaid with a lot of tattoos and silver rings.

"It's nothing, really."

"Liar," Musica hissed at the boy, black eyes glaring at silver ones. Indeed, Haru is never the best when it comes to lying. "You should have known no matter what you do, you'll never get to save his ass."

It was now Haru's turn to glare at his friend, anger slowly flaring inside of him. He knew it was his fault from the start, but Musica have no rights to step in their relationship and do as he pleased.

The elder boy was suppose to speak again when the school bell suddenly rung, and soon, everyone in the cafeteria grabs their books and bags and filed themselves out of the huge hall. Haru did the same, eager to leave his friend as fast as he can. He already knew that such turn in conversation can not be avoided, but he also wished that at least the older boy will be able to understand his side. Everyday it's always like this, and Haru doesn't know anymore if he should sacrifice his relationship for the sake of his friendship with Musica, or the opposite.

Striding faster than others, he rushed to the hallway where he can mix with the rest of the academy's students and avoid his friend. He was disappointed somehow though, when he after walking past the locker hall, he realized that no one had been following after him at all. Sighing, he continued on his way to his classroom, and hoped his teacher won't ask anything about iPod having mercury inside.

* * *

**TBC**


	2. Strawberry Shortcake

Title: Strawberry Shortcake  
Author: Umi-chii  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii still don't own Rave. Mashima-sensei does.  
Pairing: Lucia/Haru  
Warning: AU. School-verse. BL. Heavy angst.  
Author's Note: Never write when ye have a missing muse. Write only when ye have a spork between yer eyes. This is a sequel of Raspberry Muffin, but it can be read separately.

* * *

**Strawberry Shortcake**

There they go again. Haru's beginning to feel like the wife being abused by her drunken husband. The only difference is, they're not married, Haru's not a wife, and Lucia is definitely not drunk. No, Lucia is far from drunk. He's sober—real sober and very conscious of what he's doing.

Haru grimaced and gulped at his boyfriend's looming figure. If Musica receives a word about this, he's going to get another sermon. Without a warning, a fist came flying straight at him, punching him on his jaw. Haru could have sworn he saw red from the blonde's eyes if it wasn't for the pain robbing him of his senses, only able to taste a tinge of something metallic inside his mouth. Before Haru could straighten up, he was pushed down hard to the floor, the back of his head hitting the cemented wall. The picture frame above him rattled a bit, disturbed from its position.

Lucia glared at him hard, his golden eyes glowing amidst the house's darkness, asking him who's being the cocky one now, daring him to say a word, pressing him to fight back. Haru didn't do anything though. He remained quiet, both of his arms brought up, shielding his fear from being apparent. But Lucia felt it, no matter how much Haru tried to cover it. He was tempted to kick this pathetic puppy out of the house. The shaking figure of this brat is thinning his patience real fast, making him even more tempted to beat the living crap out of him.

If there was another fist hitting him, Haru didn't feel it anymore. He didn't feel anything anymore; his mind was too blank to register anything his senses were telling him. Just as he was about to expect another flash of pain, the shadow over him suddenly left. Haru blinked before his crossed arms. He blinked and blinked again, as if trying to blink away the fear in his eyes.

Slowly, he looked up. Instead of seeing cold golden eyes glaring down at him, spiting him and his existence, his eyes met nothing. Not even a shadow of what had remained. The front door was opened, cold wind rushing into the room, carrying in the droplets of rain from outside. The storm had not stopped yet. It probably wouldn't stop until tomorrow. Lucia had just left the house. He went straight to the cold, hard storm. That fool.

Scrambling up, Haru quickly grabbed for his coat and ran out of the house. The moment he stepped out, bullets of ice cold rain drops hit him everywhere, the cold seeping through the thick material of his coat. But Haru was numbed to it already. There was nothing else in his mind other than Lucia, and only Lucia.

He ran and ran, pushing past busy people on the own way. He didn't care who he had pushed aside, his mind set on getting back at the blonde. The heaven wasn't quite on his side either. Wet boots slipping on a puddle, his line of sight met the concrete ground. His wrist was screaming at him in pain, but Haru ignored it. Pushing himself up, he forced his entire weight on his abused wrists. He won't give up. He's not going to give up, not until he gets back at the blonde, at Lucia.

Wasting no more time to catch his breath, he ran forward as fast as he could. There's nothing the dudes above could do to stop him, to save his hide from burning burned down.

* * *

The strawberry shortcake was tempting him to fish out his wallet and use his remaining money on it. Musica contemplated. Should he or should he not? There was no cheesecake left. The bakery only had this remaining slice of something strawberry for him. He would have bought it and finish it here and now, if it wasn't for the damn remaining cash on his wallet. It's either that new video game or a savory sweet minute in heaven. Musica though, unlike any other kid his age, was a very smart kid.

Obviously, he opted for the cake.

Just as he was about to point and order the cake, his eyes caught sight of something he's not supposed to see. A flash of silver ran past the huge glass window of De Luné Bakery and Pastries. His eyes stared affixed at the nothing in front of him, not daring to blink. He was sure of what he had seen. It was none other than Haru. The determined almost angry look was quite evident in his usually meek silver eyes.

When the cashier was about to ask him if he's to order or not, Musica stepped out of the line and went straight for the door, yanking the door open rather harshly. That Haru didn't even bring an umbrella with him. That fool.

* * *

His breaths came in labored pants. His insides was still was burning with anger, recoiling with hatred and loathing. He hated it whenever he sees that damn smile, whenever he get affected by it. He hated it that the smile can bring such a reaction from him, that the smile made him feel so warm inside, pulling out a smile from his enigmatic face. He hated it. He hated it that there's nothing else that boy can do other than make him feel… _not him_.

The wall beside him cracked. He ignored the pain shooting through his knuckles. His knuckles were already bruised anyway. He didn't give much of a damn anymore. There's not much to give anyway.

He bit his bottom lip. Somehow, his gut feeling was telling him that it'll be impossible for the brat not to follow him. It made him sick even more that he was proven false, when the boy did finally appear behind him, panting loudly.

Both didn't speak a word. They were silent. They didn't dare to break the silence. They didn't want to. Even if the current between is nothing but tension, this is one of their rare moments of peace. Neither of the two would want to break the cord, this momentous string of silence. But it could never be avoided that in the end, the cord would snap. Indeed, it will snap whether they like it or not. Neither of the two even wondered if it's actually better the momentum was broken by someone else other than them.

Haru heard his name being yelled over the loud rain. He didn't look at where it came from. He didn't want to break the nonexistent gaze he held over the boy in front of him. He didn't even change out of his school uniform to something warmer. That fool.

Musica stopped in front of Haru, noting how the boy was looking intently at the alley ahead of him. Then he noticed what Haru was so busy with—Lucia.

He wanted to step forward, but he found himself unable to. It was like there was some unknown force keeping him from stepping in to break the ice. Then he finally understood. This is their fight. This is their battle. This is their own play to stage. There's no vacant role for him to play. He's only a mere audience to this drama of tragic comedy.

The momentum was now destroyed, ruined. It vanished into thin air. Not a speck of its dust remained. No one knew who's supposed to make the first move, the first step forward down this bloody, winding road they had taken. Neither of them was willing to take the first brunt of the hit that's surely to meet them in the end of the road. But Haru braved himself. He always did. He always does. He took the first step himself. He stepped forward, and then continued it with the other foot. He had walked forward. He had maintained a normal pace forward, fists clenched beside him. He's determined now. He's not about to falter anymore. If he did fall, he'll just pick himself up like he always does.

A crunch was heard underneath his weight. Lucia's ears twitched. He kept his back turned to the brat behind though. he didn't want to turn around, for fear… no, for too much anger that he could bring himself to look at the boy anymore with so much hate and loathing in his eyes.

Musica watched the two boys with bated breaths, biting the insides of his mouth in worry and anticipation. He didn't bet with himself anymore on who will pull out the first punch. It's already obvious.

Then there, it started. The first change of this twisted metamorphosis. The lost boy hold out a hand, groping aimlessly until it touched the soaked fabric of the blonde's shirt. His hand fisted.

Lucia didn't do anything to shrug it off. He just stood there. He didn't dare to move an inch. Then he felt it. That small yet huge move. It had stricken him real bad, as if a knife had been plunged right on his back, stabbing his heart without him knowing it. The clenched fist holding his the back of his shirt… it didn't shake a single bit. It was firm and strong. And then there, Lucia felt it again, that dreaded, horrible feeling, of his heart enlightening, of warmth reaching the dark recesses of his being despite the cold and dark biting rain. It annoyed him. It really annoyed him. He wanted to turn around and punch the brat behind him, but he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried to will himself to move, no matter how hard he forced himself to turn around and aim his fist at the brat, he couldn't.

Pitter, patter. Pitter, patter. Pitter, patter.

They stayed there. Under the cold hard rain, freezing them, soaking them. The pain contorting his heart, the agony twisting his mind slowly ebbed away. His shadows began to fade away until only one remain—his real shadow, the shadow that only belonged to him. The shadow that held nothing but the remains of his actions, the reflections of his mind. It blended together with the brat's shadow. It irked him, but somehow, a part of him, the enlightened one, smiled. His lips quivered. His shoulders began to shake. His knees wanted to buckle. His breaths began coming in short gasps again, his mind finally registering the coldness of the rain. His eyes felt really hot.

A head had pressed itself against his back, the fist becoming two now. That's it. That's enough. Why must the dam finally collapse?

Hot tears began to stream down his eyes. Flashes of unwanted images appeared before his mind's eyes—of smiles, of frowns, of laughs. He lost it. The world before him had finally collapsed—he had finally collapsed, his mind going blank.

Everything else afterwards, was nothing else but darkness, nothing else but void.

* * *

Musica stared at the plate in front of him, the pink cake seducing him to grab the fork. He had finally painstakingly pulled himself out of that horrid memory, but no matter how hard he had tried, he can't take the image out of his head. The vestige of it… it was heavily etched into every corner of his mind.

Finally, he sighed. The waitress beside him looked at him inquiringly, then shrugged and kept on her way.

When Musica finally opened his eyes, the sunlight was beginning to return from its hiding place behind the clouds. That was then when Musica finally grabbed his fork and took a bite of the strawberry shortcake.

* * *

**END**

The next chapters are quite the exact opposite of this one, so don't find it weird that one minute you're reading heavy angst, the next it's intense crack and sarcastic humor.


	3. Mango Tart

Title: Mango Tart  
Author: Umi-chii  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Mashima-sensei still does.  
A/N: The moment I received the text, I couldn't think of anything past the words 'mango tart'. So in the end, I decided to make it into a series, and call it, "Hunger, Not Anger". Still quite surprised though that I end up writing more Lucia/Haru…  
Summary: They've come a long way for this.

* * *

**Mango Tart**

Sitting in front of him was a box of mango tart Haru had bought in De Luné Bakery and Pastries… since last Thursday. It's now already Monday.

Musica opened the box lid and wondered if he'll meet the sight of hungry ants eating the tarts or molds announcing their presence to the world. Frankly, he opted for neither of the two. He had checked the expiration date, and it was set to due on this Thursday. That means he'll be safe from food poisoning, right?

So, Musica hesitated no more and put aside the box lid. Peering inside the box, he's surprised that the tarts still look so fresh and delicious. Picking one from the many tarts, he sniffed at it, and checked everywhere for a sign of mold. Satisfied that there's none, Musica ate it in one mouthful bite before closing the box again. Grabbing his bag with keys dangling on a chain hooked to his belt, Musica took off for school. He intended to bring some tarts with him to school, but knowing that he'll see his younger friend today, he thought otherwise. Besides, after what happened last Friday, he doubted he'll be able to spend the same amount of time with Haru.

He just prayed that this time, nothing will go wrong between the two anymore.

* * *

"Haru, kid, wake up. You're late."

"Nngh…"

In the Glory household, sunlight is a very important part of its structure. With its first arrival every morning, Resha, the resident pet Maltese would wake up, fetch the newspaper, and wake the rest of the residents. Sadly, even inside the house of the Glorys, there were some who abhor the existence of the sun.

Gale Glory had come to terms with the sun that once he has a child, he will stop hating it and will learn to accept that it is useful. So he had. Still, that didn't stop him from cursing and yelling at it whenever it gives him a headache, especially after waking up from a bad hangover. His daughter, Cattleya, had inherited her mother's love for the sun, so the rest of the people can hate her. The youngest in the house, the boy, the Haru Glory though, is an entire different story.

When he was born, everyone expected him to be a bright, energetic and happy child. After all, he was named after the season his father discovered the greatest invention created by mankind—coffee. Everyone thought he'll be a living spring. Woe is everyone when they discovered much to their horror that the child ended up becoming the latter of the guess; Haru is a bitter child and hates the sun above anything else, just like a coffee. Yet everyone wanted to believe that Haru being a black coffee is just a misunderstanding, and that the blonde kid he's always hanging out with is the reason why he's so melancholy. And Gale too, is the secondary reason, since it's because of him why everything is such.

Either way, the boy stayed away from the larger crowd and satisfied himself staying in a corner, usually with his best friend, the town mayor's son, Musica. At least he's a better choice and a good influence than that drug lord's son.

Well, if everyone ignores the fact Musica had sent more than twenty six (and still counting) young girls aborting. The town's local clinic, Dr. Shiba, is the one least complaining about Musica.

Thus Haru continued growing up as a kid who preferred to be alone. His face would always be emotionless, thus he always end up being faceless to the people around him. No one knows him. He's the unpopular kid, who later on, as he enters high school, was branded as the 'emo brat' who hangs around the shadow of the school's 'heartthrob'. It was out of everyone's expectations though, to suddenly see the emo brat together with the school's… no, the _town's_ biggest jerk; the drug lord's son, Lucia.

When Gale first learned of the two's close friendship, he didn't say a word. Instead, he smiled, both at the blossoming friendship and at his old friend, who he hoped he'll be able to rekindle something with. He turned deaf ears to the townspeople and went back hanging at the pub with his old friend while Cattleya will watch over the two boys.

It was when they were in junior high school that everything began to change. Lucia began to become more moody and distant. He had become reclusive, and he would hurt his only friend whenever something bothers him. Ironic that what bothers him the most was actually his friend's patience and kindness towards him. It became an endless cycle between them. Lucia, who was so deeply addicted by the drugs, would beat up Haru whenever he sees him. Then Haru would chase him and just hug him. Then Lucia will get mad and continue beating him until he's tired, running away to some rundown bar to drown himself in more powders and papers. It's a cycle, so endless everyday it'll repeat itself. Not even Gale was strong enough to break Haru's relationship with his friend's son, since he knew that he's already too late.

And now, with the latest development being Lucia trying to breakaway from his vices while Haru starts to smile more often, and Musica sending them a lot of cake every other day, (not to mention the town's greatest barista is moving in with the town's self-proclaimed monk into a new apartment just next door) Gale deemed it's now safe for him to come out of the house and embrace the sunshine. Haru though, is again, an entirely different story; he still hates the sun more than mango tarts.

"Daaad! The blinds! The shutters! The freaking damn sun! Make it go away!"

Every morning in the Glory household, it would be like that. Resha would fetch the morning paper, and then she would go and wake Cattleya up. After Cattleya's up, she would make coffee then wake their father. Once Gale's up, he would then wake Haru. He had once asked why Cattleya didn't want to do the task. Cattleya only gave him a sardonic smile and said, "As the father, you're ought to do the most heinous and hardest job."

And that was how Gale starts his mornings; waking the monster of the house. So, bringing himself up, he went to the door besides his and opened the blinds, warm rays of sunlight invading the entire room. As expected, a long string of profanities followed suit as a silver head disappeared underneath a sea of white, fluffy pillows.

"Oi, Haru! Come on, it's time for school. I already let you sleep in."

"Daaaaaaaaaaad!"

Shaking his head to himself, he grabbed the boy's blanket and threw it aside. Next went flying were the pillows and soon, Haru sat up with a huge pout, glaring at his father. He would have looked intimidating and scary if it wasn't for the Plue pajamas he's wearing.

"Come _on_. I have to fetch you to school. I have work too, ya know?"

Grumbling to himself, Haru threw himself at his father. Yelps and screams came next as father and son rolled across the floor, before Haru jumped off of him and darted straight for the bathroom. Muttering to himself about overgrown kids and emo brats, Gale couldn't help but smile at the thought of his son. The kid had really come a long way.

"Dad! Get down here! Haru's in the shower already! No sleeping in from you anymore!"

And of course, the kid is still the reason why Gale can't have his way around the house.

* * *

Lucia stared hard at the mass of baked flour in front of him. He was hoping that with his hard stare, it would melt into goo so there's no more need for him to it. His father caught the stare though and thus forced his hand to hold a knife.

"Eat it, alright? It's not bad. Come on. I woke up 5 in the morning just to cook breakfast."

Right… It's easier said than done, alright.

"Dad, last time I ate something made by you, I was locked up in the hospital and people thought I was on Valium."

"Oh, shush. No one knows what Valium does anyway. Come on, eat it up. You'll be late for school."

Late for school… he's always late for school though usually, it's absent from school. His father was used to it already though, receiving calls from the school that he had skipped classes again. But King pretended he knows nothing, and that Lucia is an ordinary kid.

Well, as ordinary as a bully can be.

But today is different though. Lucia actually planned to attend first period. King doesn't know what happened to the kid, but for once, he's happy with whatever crap his son going to pull. Heck, even if Lucia's going to attend first period just to yell at his teacher, King would still be proud and happy of his son. Back then, Lucia wouldn't attend school just to yell a 'Fuck you' at his teacher. But now… King's so taken aback by his son that he could weep tears of pride and happiness.

"I'm off to school."

"Ah! Don't forget to call if you need a ride home!"

"Ah…"

The door to the Leagrove household closed with a soft click. Back then, it would be a loud slam. Now…

King chuckled to himself and walked back to the kitchen, cleaning and fixing the plates. Eyes lingering on a photo of his wife, Emilia, King felt his lips widening into a smile.

"Lily, our son had finally done it."

Just as he was about to open the tap, loud knockings were heard outside from the porch. Rushing outside, King grumbled to himself before opening the door, only to meet the sight of… damn. The barista.

"Hey, sorry about that. I was wondering if you have some low fat milk—"

"No, zilch, zippo, nada."

The door slammed before the guy from the other side of the door could say another word. Damn them baristas. They just can't leave you and your own supply of milk alone. And who the hell uses low fat milk anyway?!

Another round of rasp knockings came from the door. Dead set on screaming at the barista, King yanked the door open and—

"Yo! I was wondering—"

"WOULD YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PORCH AND NO, I DO NOT HAVE LOW FAT MILK!"

Gale stared at his friend before a door met his face. What the hell just happened?

* * *

His first day back to school (though first day at school would be more appropriate, since he always skip through everything, even in the welcoming ceremony) was okay, according to Lucia's evaluation. There was nothing special in it, except a few teachers asking for his name, and some classmates staring at him, and some more idiots finding it worth gossiping that the drug lord's son is actually attending school. Some were even betting on him actually attending first period just to verbally molest their English teacher.

"I bet you 50 bucks he'll tell her panty colors!"

"Well, I raise you to 60 bucks that he'll say he can see her nipples!"

Such was his first period. Classroom door opening, Lucia picked his sight out of the window and into the door, seeing both Haru and Musica standing outside. Then the former boy entered as the latter second year left, probably going for his own class.

"Hey."

"Hey." The other boy greeted back, smiling him a soft smile. Out of the blue, Lucia smiled back at him. It caught Haru off guard. But before Lucia could take the smile back, everyone had already quiet down and decided it's time to stare at Lucia. And so they did. Everyone stared him, hard and long. Some became even wary on it. Others were giving the two a dirty look, silently proclaiming that 'emo brat' was actually a fag.

"The fuck do you bastards—"

"Good morning, idiots!"

The classroom door closed with a resounding click as their teacher, Ms. Julia, stepped into the platform with her usual aura of high strung hot chickiness. It had already become a dogma inside the school that no one, not even the school's biggest jock, can say or do anything bad about and/or to Ms. Julia, if they don't want to get manhandled by her fan club.

And so, the rest of the day continued as usual, only this time, with some cheeky and sarcastic comebacks from Lucia who just can't step down from his teacher's taunts and mocks. Of course, everyone should have known everything between the two were never personal, before someone decided to tell Lucia off to the school counselor.

* * *

"And here I thought my first day back would be more peaceful…"

"Oh, don't worry about it, brat. I'll talk to the principal about this."

"But Ms. Julia, won't that put you into trouble?"

"Nah. The school can't fire me if they don't wanna lose half of their student body. In the meantime, just go to detention and see the counselor. And please, DON'T beat up Ogre. You should have known already."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Lucia…"

"Oi! Haru! Blondie!"

The two stopped on their tracks and turned around, only to see Musica running after them, waving his hand like some idiotic moron.

Wait. He is one.

"What—"

"Oi!" the sophomore stopped in front of the two, flashing them a smile of his own and a peace sign. What the hell—

"Just heard that you came back to school. Don't know what came over ya, but I have to thank ol' Uncle King for it. His pancakes taste good. Do thank him for me," Lucia glared at the boy in front of him as Musica went too cozy, giving him a friendly punch on the shoulder. Then, the second year turned to Haru and gave him a grin of his own. "Elie caught up with me this morning and told me to tell ya that she got an extra ticket for the Ars Arcanum concert."

Ars Arcanum, the local band that had just made itself known world-wide. Right now, they're touring around the entire continent, promoting their newest album, Niebelungenlied.

"Tell her I won't mind the extra ticket if she could give me hers."

Musica stared at him then at the boy beside him. His brain did the math as equations between x and y and z begin to solve themselves.

Oh.

"Oh!"

"Yeah."

Musica gave him another grin before nodding, sniggering to himself. Lucia only stood there between the two, sending both a weird look. "What crap are you two talking about…?"

"Well then, I wish you luck in it, Haru! And oh! Here's another box! It's your favorite, by the way! Tell me if you would like another one next week." The boy handed him a red box tied with a red ribbon, the logo of De Luné Bakery and Pastries taking up the entire upper right corner. The second year gave them another wave before running off to wherever he came from, leaving the two boys standing beside each other in the hallway.

Then they both stare at each other, silently asking each other what to do.

"Do you—"

"I don't mind—"

"What say you'—"

"Yeah, sure."

And so, the rest of the day was spent like they usually spend it if there's no drugs stealing Lucia away from Haru. Again, the blonde ditched detention, accompanying Haru to skip classes to spend the rest of the afternoon in the arcade. And maybe, convince Elie _peacefully_ to give over her two tickets for the Ars Arcanum concert.

* * *

**TBC**


	4. Blueberry Cheesecake

Title: Blueberry Cheesecake  
Author: Umi-chii  
Disclaimer: Umi-chii don't own Rave. Mashima-sensei still does.  
Pairing: Lucia/Haru  
Warning: BL/Slash. AU. OOC. And a lot of abuse on the meaning of AU.  
A/N: Since this is an AU, don't be surprised that everyone is beyond the comprehensibility of the normal OOC. Yes, I'm pushing the meaning of AU to its very limit, so don't complain. And sentences counted as one word.  
Summary: Amidst the glaring spotlights and blaring sounds, they were still able to hold onto each other and enjoy not the sight or the sound, but the company. Fourth in the Hunger, Not Anger series.

* * *

**Blueberry Cheesecake**

"HARU!"

'_Pleaseletitnotbedadpleasepleaseplease—'_

If the idiot behind them yelling his name isn't his father, Haru is willing to swallow his pride and just _jump_ into the air and cheer. But alas, fate is never nice with him. Beside him, Lucia only turned his head and looked over his shoulder. The sudden change of his face made Haru cringed. It took every ounce of his remaining manly pride not to dash away from the inevitable embarrassment that will surely follow suit.

"_HARU GLORY!"_

"PleasepleasepleasetellhimhissonisdeadandpossessedandI'mnotHaruGlory!"

Lucia turned and stared at his friend then at the approaching—WHY the hell is the senior Glory running and waving his hand like an idiot—OMG IS THAT HIS FATHER?!—elder Glory. His face turned even sour (if not redder) when he noticed that yes, it IS his father running behind Glory, obviously trying to catch up.

"Haru, I say we go for it and get ourselves run over by Tanchimos with perverted blue blobs and nekkid pengus."

"I so agree with you there."

Warily, the Haru took a small step forward (backward for Lucia). In the next three seconds, the two ran for their lives, bypassing some random lost dogs and people in business suits.

"OI! GET THE HELL BACK HERE!"

And thus the day continued in the lives of the Glorys and the Leagroves.

* * *

The bell gave a soft clinking sound as the door opened. The two boys entered the bakery (though it was more of a café, since they serve both pastries and coffees) and warm hues of pink and cream meet their sight. Without bothering to check, Haru already knew Lucia felt greatly out of place. But he ignored the nagging feeling and shrugged, tugging and dragging Lucia over the first rows of tables. Musica and Deepsnow were already on their own booth.

Pushing aside the empty plates of cakes, Haru sat down while Lucia sat opposite him. Deepsnow only gave them a nod while Musica grinned toothily at Haru, slapping him behind with a rather loud smack.

"Yo! Elie finally gave me the ticket_s._"

"Ah, thank you then. And no, I won't pay you for the abortion fees."

The two silent boys over the table grimaced at the thought. But Haru deadpanned Musica with a leveled stare. The guy was still trying to objecting the idea.

"NEVER in my entire life would I want to sleep with that chick, man!"

"But you called her a chick, and you only call a girl 'chick' once you've slept with her—"

"No! No, no, no, no, blatant _NO_!"

"Yeah, that's right. Keep on living in Self-Denial World."

Deepsnow sighed and Lucia looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. The older boy shrugged and motioned for the counter with a look. Lucia turned to look at it then back at Deepsnow and nodded.

"Do you think they're talking in that ellipsis language?"

"I don't think 'talking' is the right term…"

"Yeah, but they're doing it… Look! See?! They can like, understand each other!"

"What the—"

"We're going to get ourselves some cappuccinos and cheesecakes. Want some?" The blond asked him as he stood beside the table, Deepsnow already striding towards the counter.

Dumbfounded, Haru nodded absently with his jaw hanging. Lucia gave him a quirked look, grinning at the sight then flicked the dazed boy on the forehead.

"H-Hey!"

"Well? Yes to cheesecake or no?"

"Ow… fine, yes. You treat me though. Flicking me at the head… so mean…"

Lucia grinned again at the pout Haru gave him, poking out his tongue. Shaking his head, Lucia turned for the counter, calling out to Deepsnow to order for him too.

Back at the table, both the two boys stared at the other two's backs. There was a pregnant pause of silence between the two of them, Haru watching Lucia absently as Musica watched Haru with a soft look on his eyes.

"He's finally coping with it?"

Startled, Haru blinked at the two then turned and gave Musica a confused gaze, clear grey eyes wide with curiosity. "Huh?"

Musica only shook his head. At least Haru didn't lose that underlying innocent during the dark storm between them.

"Lucia. How is he?"

Musica figured that this would be a good opportunity to let Haru talk more than usual. Even if he had been smiling a lot as of late, he's still reclusive when it comes to long-term chats. Haru shrugged at the question, lips going back to its bowed state. "He's better now, compare to the last few months. Even King said Lucia got them nightmares lesser, and actually responds to his words," Nodding along, Musica hummed a soft tune, going back to looking at the two while Haru rested both of his arms on the table, hands poking the edge of a plate. "He had also flushed down all of his supplies and haven't made any signs of knowing they exist, so I guess that's a good thing…"

"It is." Musica agreed, eyes going back to Haru. His sight had been shifting from Haru to the two boys at the counter every ten seconds, and Musica can't find the answer as to why he's suddenly playing the big brother here. Deepsnow should be the one doing this.

"And yesterday, he actually went to school and went to the arcade with me… that's really something, right?"

For a second there, Haru sounded too hopeful for his own good but Musica didn't mention it. Instead, he just smiled, eyes closing as his smile radiated the warmth he had been giving ever since Haru lost his.

"Ah, it is." Musica whispered again, his lips widening into an even brighter smile. Haru nodded, though it was more for his self-reassurance, and gave off a big, warm smile of his own.

"Oi, dorky, the hell did you do to my boyfriend?"

Haru lost his smile (His mind was going through a fit of 'Didyejustcallmehisboyfriend?' and 'HedidOMGI'mgonnafaintcanIfaintplease?') and went back to gaping at the empty air in front of him that's now become Lucia. It's still nothing but empty air to his sight though. Musica only grinned at the two as Deepsnow put away the tray, a plate of strawberry shortcake pushed to his side of the table.

Muttering a soft 'Thank you', Musica grabbed his fork and chuckled at the sight of Lucia trying to fix Haru's hanging jaw.

"Would you close your mouth?"

"I told you it's bad to assume." Deepsnow muttered sideways to his blond half-brother sarcastically. Lucia chose to ignore him though and went back to slapping Haru back to the living world.

"Oi! Haru! I was just kidding! Come on! Don't make me do CPR!" Then out of nowhere, a loud slap was heard all over the entire coffee slash bakery house. Even Haru's head was slapped to face the other side, and suddenly, Lucia felt fear; something he hadn't felt since… when? Ten years ago when his father decided that adopting a kid from another woman and cooking breakfast is the best thing to do to wreck their lives after his mother's death?

"Ohmy_gawd_, Haru! I'm so sorry! Shit! Haru!"

The other two older boys sighed, shaking their heads as Lucia rubbed the slapped boy's reddening cheek while trying to scowl and glare away the accusing and angry look other customers were giving him. "It's not my fault!" His glare was telling them, but they didn't believe an ounce of his words. So, Lucia went back to apologizing while rubbing off the pain (and of course, swearing).

"Shitshitshit! HARU! OI!"

Currently, Haru's mind is going off like this: 'I'mhisboyfriendOMGhejustslappedme!'

"Oi, Lucia, you _keeled_ the guy."

"Musica, please refrain from using nonexistent language."

The two elder boys would have continued bickering over the thousands of languages they knew if Lucia didn't suddenly beam like the sun of Ra. Heck, seeing Lucia suddenly beaming, as in _shining_, made them stop and just _stare_ at the blond as if his golden yellow hair was glowing and there's an_ existing_ halo on top of his head.

What. The. Heck.

"Oh, shit. I think I just wet my pants."

"Fuckfuck_fuck_, I feel like I got fucking _flashed_ by the principal!"

Musica would have retorted, because the world damn well knows getting flashed by the guidance counselor Ogre is ten times worse than getting flashed by Headmaster Doryu. He couldn't though when suddenly a loud and angry smack replied the slap Lucia had previously made. Deepsnow stared with wide eyes as his eyes met straight on with his half-brother's wide and dazed golden ones. Shit, the guy nearly got his eyeballs popped out!

"OHMYGOD!"

Musica groaned to himself as Deepsnow felt his _entire face_ twitching, including the two standing hair stands on his head. Great, now Lucia had been reduced to a dazed and _keeled_ moron while Haru was obviously screeching and shrieking and _obviously_ screaming like a pregnant woman about to give birth only couldn't since she's ten countries away from the nearest hospital. If not then a mad, headless chicken. Wait. That's worse to the mental sight. Back to the pregnant woman.

Damn. The Dudes above must be loving them all right.

And thus, the rest of the day continued in the lives of the four friends.

* * *

After getting kicked out of De Luné, the four went on for their own separated way. Musica had to go and check up on his grandfather in the city hall while Deepsnow decided to go home and make sure his father isn't getting pushed over by adamant drug dealers. Lucia told him there's really need for it, but then Deepsnow objected. It's as clear as daylight that their father is the person who needs their—yes, both of the two sixteen year old boys. If not, then at least one of them—protection when it comes to angry drug dealers. One time Lucia had kicked a guy with an ugly styled blue hair in the face. Then the fat guy with a girly name, riled up at the sight of his partner being kickassed by a fifteen year old kid, yelled at his father for being a coward to step away from the life of a drug lord. Ten seconds later, both Lucia and Deepsnow transformed into some Kung Fu masters, complete with the Tai Chi uniform and Cheongsam. (Deepsnow had kept on insisting his Cheongsam was personally tailored, and Lucia told him his tailor is probably a sick, old perv.)

"Be home before five, alright? Leave me to suffer alone and I won't give you those tickets."

"He has the tickets…!"

"Oi! You bastard!"

Deepsnow grinned at the two, walking to the opposite direction while waving two tickets for the Ars Arcanum concert. Lucia only seethed and snarled at the leaving figure of his brother while Haru sighed, figuring that as long as he convince Lucia to go home before five (if not, four), then he can still have the chance to go and see his greatest idol sing live _on the freaking stage right in front of him_.

Yes, he had just gone off like the closeted Ars Arcanum slash Sieg Hart fanboy he is.

When Lucia had finally decided it's time for him to stop pulling his face, he looked at Haru who's staring off distantly, probably back in his dream world since he got that odd, dazed and _glittery_ look on his eyes. The glitter of the thought had just killed him and dragged him back from Hell.

"Oi. Haru. Arcade." He snapped at the silver haired boy beside him, who suddenly jolted as if Lucia had stuck an electric hill on his ear. And so, the two walked in a slow pace towards Ruby's Poyoic Arcade, intent on satisfying themselves with the calm and peaceful air between them.

But of course, along the way, someone had to break that silence. The last time the silence between the two of them was made by Lucia's cries. Now, it's by Haru's uncertainties.

Stopping in mid-step, Haru looked down on his curled hands, fingers twisted and laced together. It took Lucia two more steps to realize that his companion had stopped on his track. Turning sideways to regard Haru, he closed his mouth when he noticed the other boy's trembling lips and hollowed cheeks. Those silver eyes were back to their dark, gloomy shade, and somehow, Lucia felt it so uncharacteristic of him to be brought sad by the display.

"Haru—"

"Lucia—"

Both started and stopped at the same time. Then Lucia started but Haru quickly stepped in between, but Lucia wasn't able to stop himself to give way for the other. Neither was Haru able to himself.

"I'm sorry—"

"I don't know—"

And thus, though their words may seem clashed and snapped in the middle, they were able to understand.

"I swear—"

"It's okay though—"

"I really mean it!"

That made Haru stopped and choked on his own words. Neither of the two knows how Lucia had come to standing in front of Haru, with both of his hands gripping Haru's shoulders harder than opted for comfort. But Haru didn't mind this, because the only thing running in his mind was how comfortable their current situation was, even if they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and a lot of people were giving them weird looks.

"Lucia—"

"I know."

"But—"

"I know this is too sudden."

"Seriously—"

"And I know it's just so _strange."_

"Damn it, _LUCIA—"_

"But I swear I'm damn serious."

This time, Haru only bit his bottom lip and kept his fist from springing upwards and gave the blond who looked so out of place another good punch. Taking a deep breath, he decided the best way to deal with this idiot is a good, well-formed sentence that will not earn him interruption_s_ after another.

"Lucia, seriously—"

"I _know_, Haru. I _know—"_

"_GODDAMNIT_! LUCIA LEAGROVE, WILL YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO WHAT I'M GOING TO FUCKING SAY!?

The blond suddenly met Haru's fist face to face the second time in a short span of two hours as Haru made it his duty to punch Lucia whenever it's necessary for him. Indeed, Haru had put the job to heart. His skull greeting the cement pavement with a loud bang that screamed 'Hello!', Lucia swore he can see stars in broad daylight while Haru glared down at him from above. Oh no, his Haru had become a part of the celestial bodies...

"Lucia Leagrove, if you don't get up from the ground this instance, I'm so going to kick you below the below and then step on your stomach. Aye or not?"

"Aye…" Lucia muttered to himself, pain still evident from the sound of tone. Haru gave him a cold, evil and unforgiving look from the tone of the voice, but Lucia quickly regained his footing albeit with a sore ass and a cracked skull. He wouldn't be surprised if the back of his head was already bleeding like mad.

Haru took a long breath and then sighed, fixing Lucia another look. Lucia avoided it with a flippant gesture, shrugging and finding too much interest in that gay bar's rainbow flag.

"Lucia, what's with what you said back then?"

Oh dear, the rainbow flag had just collapsed and hit the ground. A screw was rolling down the street.

Wait. That's Lucia on the floor with his screw missing.

"Lucia…"

Calling 911 would have been a smart move but Haru decided that screaming 'Shit!' on top of his housewife-style shrilly voice in the near vicinity of their school, the town's police station, and the city hall was definitely a hundred times better choice. Somewhere inside the huge city hall, Musica could hear a flower vase cracking.

Anyway, back to a random street that's near Haru's school, the town's police station and the city hall, Haru crouched low beside Lucia's dormant figure and began slapping Lucia (he didn't care if it's so painful he's snapping Lucia's head left and right) back to consciousness.

"Lucia! Come on!"

The last thing Lucia needed was hearing Haru whine his ass off, because trust him; for his entire sixteen years of living in this miserable world they call The World, a whining Haru is the worst of all the evils in the worst worse-case scenarios. Yes, a whining Haru is definitely worse than being flashed by Principal Doryu and the bastard Ogre at the same time.

Opening his eyes, he blinked then shuddered when wide, whiny silver eyes were staring down at him. Lucia winced outwardly, but Haru took this as a sign of being alive again from Lucia. So, he did what most idiots and/or dorks would do; he hugged the blond so hard Lucia chocked even more on his breath and decided that it's high time for him to return the gesture.

Pushing Haru off of him, Lucia sat up and dusted off every speck of dirt clinging on him.

"God, Haru, _GOD_!" He continued patting his shoulders and arms off of the dusts while Haru sat there beside him, on the middle of the _god freaking street_, oblivious to the now wary stares coming from the people around them. Even the policeman standing not so far from them was giving them a cautious look.

"Why, of all times, must you ask some crappy shit crappily?"

Haru didn't know if the blond knew he had just used a word that doesn't exist at all. But he had decided since long ago that it's better not to attack whatever pride that's left on the blond… if, he had any pride, to begin with. Still, that's just Haru being though so please, ignore the thought. Focus more on how he's going to ask Lucia about how serious he is, and just _what _the hell he's so serious about.

"Lucia, how serious are you?"

"As serious as a mudkip is when it's fooling around in April's Fools Day."

"Then what do you mean by saying I'm your boyfriend?"

This time, the entire gay bar's building collapsed as Lucia felt a strand of golden hair suddenly bolted upright, sizzled as if struck by lightnight.

Oh, dear lord. Just _what_ had he done to warrant such an ill fitting form of punishment from The Dudes above? _What_?! _Why_?!

"Er…"

"Lucia Leagrove, if you don't answer me in the next five seconds, I assure you, you'll strongly believe castration is indeed a better choice than priesthood."

Lucia gulped audibly, along with his pride. That's it. It's now or never. He'd rather keep his manhood than live a life in the monastery with their creepy redheaded neighbor.

"I'm sorry, Haru, but I swear I'm not really joking! Ireallylikeyousincekindergartenthat'swhyIalwaysbullyyoumarrymeplease?"

Haru gave him the hardest and coldest look he could muster. Lucia vaguely thought he'd rather vasectomy _then_ castration instead of The Look.

"Lucia Leagrove, if you don't speaking in a coherent language, I SHALL feed your loins to my dog."

Damn! Someone just hit him _below the freaking belt_!

"But Haru!"

"NOW!"

So a Haru barking an order wasn't the most pleasant idea, but neither was his current position. No matter how badass of a jerk Lucia is, the least situation he'd ask for when confessing to his crush since kindergarten is _this_, also known as: sitting on the floor with a bleeding skull and an aching jaw while ass is dead flat, a few miles away from the earshot of their school, the town's police station and the city hall. Not only that, they're clearly surrounded by the same people going back and forth across the street for the last few hours.

But Lucia convinced himself that the last thing he need was to lose his loins while he's still alive. Oh well.

"To quote and unquote what I said earlier in a speed easy for you to understand," Lucia did the airquotes hand move, which made Haru's eyebrow twitch. But Lucia ignored the sudden nearness of his doom and proceed with a brave front and a bad back. Literally. "I really like you since kindergarten, that's why I always bully you just so you would enough attention at me. Please marry me?"

Haru stared at the blond in front of him with the widest eyes his eyes could go for. But it still couldn't beat world record as Lucia stared at him with the most determined look. If the people around them had decided that clapping and cheering at their new, sudden and definitely out of place engagement is the best thing to do, then Haru can't say otherwise as he did any normal person in his predicament would do (if there IS some normal person like him in such state of insanity).

He pounced on the blond and gave him the wettest and loudest kiss ever witnessed in the entire world, in front of a bunch of people in the middle of a street near their school, the town's police station and the city hall, some portion of their jaws and cheeks pretty much still bruised. But both idiots didn't give much of a damn at all, as the only thing in their list of top priority is making out in the street.

And of course, getting Lucia home before five so they can go to the concert and have some wild, bunny romping afterwards in one of their homes… Though Lucia had been thinking of renting a hotel room.

* * *

**TBC**


	5. Coconut Pie

**Title: **Coconut Pie**  
Author: **Umi-chii**  
Fandom: **Rave**  
Disclaimer: **Umi still can't make Hiro Mashima sell Rave to her.**  
Author's Note: **I believe that this certain fic, the story about the Ars Arcanum's reason for going international and why the town's local monastery's head monk became a… well, a monk, is very late. So, if the first four one-shots have been all about two kids doing their damnedest to stay together, then this one-shot in the series is about two adult men being very mature and stupid.

**Summary: **It's been ten years since they last saw each other, and it's been ten years since they pretend there's nothing between them—except for a local pie.

* * *

**Coconut Pie**

They all decided to make their hometown the last stop in their tour, as some sort of tribute. They all grew up there, even the band itself. All thanks to Old Haja's coconut pie.

To Sieg, it's been three years since he last visit the town, the last being a local gig in a local club. It was their last local performance too before they hit the international waves, where he went back home to his real home up in the north together with his cousin, Niebel. Yet despite the band's numerous visits to their old town, he never tagged along, and no one asked him why. They all have their dark secrets, and Sieg intends to keep his to the grave. And maybe Niebel's too, but then he never told his sixteen year old cousin. The kid had just figured it out one rainy night, when the kid caught him tearful over a worn picture.

_Yes, one more step, and you're there, but I won't be_

He propped his guitar next to Hilda's synthesizer, relieving a sigh. He's tired, so bloody tired. His fingers had begun cramping minutes ago, but they're just three songs away before end of rehearsal and he just—damn it.

"Niebel! Pass me my splint!" He yelled over his shoulder, bony fingers clutching his left wrist hard. This is the last one. He can't trip over it now. After this, they'll have their well-deserved break, and he can go back to therapy or maybe even an operation to get rid of his damn wrist disorder.

The boy ran to his side with the splint on hand, slipping the glove-like material over his hand, making sure not to tighten the belt too much.

"You should take a break," the boy muttered to him. But Sieg ignored him, fingers already began itching from the glove's course texture around knuckles, wrist unable to bend to relieve the tension accumulated. "Tomorrow's our last performance, you know. After tomorrow, I promised Uncle Mildeus we're gonna go back home, all of us."

"With some of Haja's pie?"

Niebel grinned. Yeah, with some of his pie.

_But I never go back, will never go back_

"By the way," Sieg looked up. Niebel had already stood up, bottled water on one hand. "Iulius wants to go out tonight, with the band. He wants you guys to catch up."

He frowned. Catch up is the least he wanted to do when he arrived here.

"For once, please go. This may be our really last stop here. I'm going solo once Ars Arcanum disbands and I know you're going to accept Fairy Tail's proposal. You don't have to do it for yourself. You can do it for us, as a parting gift."

"Alright," he finally relented. Niebel smiled at him, that young, boyish and innocent smile of his, that no matter how cold he tries to make himself be, he can't deny any wish that smile demands. So he just smiled back as well, although it was his own sad and morose kind of smile. It was the most he could give now, after so many years of living alone yet sharing the roof with his bandmates.

_But you know wherever you go, I'll be around you_

They all headed straight to Club Sion after dinner. It was where Iulius worked as a barista in daytime, bartender in nighttime.

"Oi, Chibini. Are you sure you're invited, too?"

"Felicia's in, so I'm in too!"

"I'm eighteen and legal. You're just a kid."

"Chibini!"

Three of the band's four members looked up and greeted their host's warm smile, Niebel pouncing on him over the counter with an affectionate hug.

"Haha, I can't believe Mr. Grouch actually let you to be his vocalist."

"That's 'cause no one can say no to Chibini!"

And he pretended there was no calculating gaze on him, even when he pulled a high stool and asked for his old college friend to make him a dry martini.

"Isn't that too bitter for you?"

"I'm not paying you to be my therapist." He bit back, glaring at those dark mahogany eyes watching him amusedly.

"And you're still so grouchy. Here I though seeing the outside world will make you… gayer."

He growled, intensifying his glare. Iulius only gave him a cryptic smile before sliding the cocktail over the counter.

_Then round and round we'll always be like this_

"And look who's here…" He heard Iulius muttered. Soon, he heard the high-pitched cry of Iulius' name, that richly sophisticated El Nadian accent still wrung around the voice despite so many years in foreign lands.

"Reina-chan! Here, here!"

"Uwa! Iulius-_chan_! Look at you! Bowtie and tux and apron!"

"And you're still so sexy in your everyday red dress!"

And when he felt Reina's smirk on him, he opted to take his drink, closing his eyes as he drowned away the image of the green-haired woman's quirked red-painted lips.

"I'm surprised, Sieg," she suddenly said, her accented voice dropping an octave. "You usually avoid our reunions."

"Niebel insisted. I would be glad to stay at our hotel and do my job." He answered back.

"We all know you'll be leaving Ars Arcanum for Fairy Tail soon, Sieg. No need to pretend…"

"And I won't be playing any major role in that amateur band at all." He suddenly snapped, glaring at the woman sitting next to him. But Reina kept her smirk, eyes narrowing slightly as the smug mirth remained.

"So why are you leaving your band for a bunch of amateurs? Ars Arcanum is at its peak right now, and you're all friends and families from your motherland."

"I wonder how you managed to know my band's matter when you have your stocks to worry about."

Reina shrugged, biting the olive skewered in its pick.

"I watch The Insider, Sieg. You guys are always in the news."

"Hey, Sieg," both looked up from their conversation, Sieg more likely to be glaring. Iulius pointed at the door with a frown. "You might wanna move to Chibini's table."

"Why…"

"Aiya! Shuda-_kun_!"

_Round and round, we'll always be like this_

"Hey, snakebitch."

"I should've called you damn monk."

"Already one, babe," Then a deep chuckle that sent his nonexistent broken heart breaking. Ten years ago, he would've melted at the sound of his voice. Now, it was nothing. Nothing, and only nothing. "By the way, Jegan is outside waiting for Belial to finish his cig…"

And he moved away from the bar, leaving a skewered olive on an empty cocktail glass.

_Until one of us stops, until one of us breaks_

He didn't know which part of him told him to just leave the place and get the hell away from everything. He hadn't even recalled stopping by his band's table to grab his coat and leave the damned bar without a single word to any of his bandmates. He must've said something like 'Leaving' when Hilda suddenly asked him in surprise, but he honestly doesn't have much memory of it, nor anything else that follows after. He's not even certain of those hazy memories of screaming arguments, of tears and angry red eyes or even a slap that made his palm sting a little.

All he could remember was that his head is in pain, and that the sun was worse more than anything else, and he knew he couldn't ignore that throbbing pain on his lower back forever. Something must've happened after he left the bar, but he couldn't remember what exactly had happened. He couldn't, for the better of him, and he wouldn't for the sake of his mental health. He had come this far already, and he's not that willing at all to lose everything he had build for those ten years, everything he had forsaken and forgotten and ignored and pretended didn't exist at all—

"When are you going to stop living in denial?"

_And then we'll see who's the better fuck_

He groaned at the sudden searing pain in his head. God damned voice and one night stands. He buried his head deeper under the pillows, drowning out whatever sound his previous fuck (they had fucked, right, or his ass wouldn't be stinging and his back wouldn't be sore) was making.

Then suddenly his phone rang and he couldn't help but growled and screamed 'Fuck' loudly, wincing at the sudden pain that shot up to his neck. They must've skipped preparation and contraceptives for his body to hurt this much after a night.

"Still eloquent, I see."

"And you're still a god damned bastard." He gritted out, glaring as hard as he could at Shuda.

"Painkillers?" The other asked, throwing a bottle of Advil at him. But he flung the battle away, scowling darkly at the redhead. No way in hell he's going to accept something from him, not after ten years of successfully ignoring his existence.

"Fuck off." He simply said, before gathering the sheets around his naked and sore body. But he could barely stand, could barely make himself stand, not when every move he made had his back screaming in pain, had his head reeling nausea. Suddenly, he wanted to throw up, to puke his intestines out and maybe even his heart and see if he could die that way and not from embarrassment.

He ignored the approaching footsteps and the looming shadow over him. There's no way he'll take that outstretched hand and throw himself onto the other's open arms, and there's totally no way he'll let himself succumb to the other's warm embrace and his sandalwood scent no matter how hard he tried to forget that smell, because he left him, and he's not going back to people who left him for other people only to end up crawling back to him asking for forgiveness. No, no, no, no, no, no…

_And who has the better luck_

"I don't need your fucking sympathy," He growled, slapping the hand away. He didn't need it, doesn't need and will never need it, not even after a thousand years. "I don't fucking need _you_."

"Why are you so god damned difficult? I'm only trying to help."

"I don't need your fucking help!"

He never needed help, never asked for it. He wanted it, but he never cried for it.

"You're such a bastard and god damn it—DON'T TOUCH ME!" He screamed and dimly, on the back of his mind, he remembered he had a concert today, the very last one. He could barely stand, and his wrist was still in pain. And now… and now, he has to deal with the biggest monster in his life, his worst nightmare. What had happened to all those years of avoidance?

"Funny," He heard a snort, as if someone wanted to spit at him for being so ludicrous. "You were asking for it last night, crying out in that wanton voice—"

"Shut up."

"Begging me to take you and—"

"Shut up!"

"Fuck you harder and harder—"

"_SHUT UP_!"

And just like that, he stopped and choked on his own breath as his mind shut down, everything exploding before his eyelids as bile rose out of him. This sucks, he told himself. Nothing is better than ending up in your ex-boyfriend's apartment with the worst hangover, crippled by the ass and then throwing up on his floor after being reminded of how bad he wanted it.

"Painkillers?"

He glared at the redhead and at the bottle of Advil he caught.

"I've called Hilda to pick you up. If I were you, I would hide from that kid cousin of yours, and wear something that'll hide…" the redhead trailed off as he pointed at him, and instantly, his hand flew to the juncture between his shoulder and neck.

Without another word, Shuda turned away, leaving him alone in the bedroom. He stared at the door, and when his eyes fell to the painkillers on his hand, he idly wandered if he could kill himself with painkillers.

'_Cause I know somewhere in between_

"Shuda,"

He heard his own voice resonating loudly around the room and out of it. His throat was scratchy; he shouldn't be calling out to anyone, especially not to his ex-boyfriend.

"Yeah?" He heard the echo. Forget it, he told himself. And that's what he did. He forgot about it, about everything.

"Let's go out to Haja's."

And maybe somewhere in between, they'll finally have that chance to fulfill at least one tiny promise from ten years ago.

_We'll see each other again_

_

* * *

  
_

**END**


End file.
